Personal Statement - English Language 1

Expert feedback from The Student Room personal statement reviewer

The statement provides a good starting point for the applicant to amend, rather than starting over. The key points are present, however the structure could do with some changes. The grammar has some basic errors which should be corrected, especially as the application is for English Language - one of the modules will definitely surround the use of grammar. The applicant should try and avoid simply listing texts that they have read and instead elaborate on some of the key features of the text - the applicant mentions the changes in language through history, thus this statement could benefit greatly from the mention of changes in morphology or syntactical structure, for example, between modern English and Old English. The applicant should avoid the use of negative comments, such as dropping an AS level, instead focus on the positives, such as studying 4 A2 levels.

I knew from an early age that I wanted to study English; from winning the Writer's Cup at the age of ten to achieving consistently high grades throughout my education. This first sentence is very clichéd; the admissions team will be more interested in what the applicant is currently academically interested in, rather than what they achieved at the age of 10. I am fascinated by the fact that the English language and the work produced from it has no boundaries; creative writing is limited only by one's imagination, and the English language itself is ever changing. This is a much more interesting sentence to open with and will attract more positive attention than the initial sentence, this sentence also transitions nicely in to the rest of the opening paragraph. Language is something that ultimately brings everyone together, yet also provides the biggest divide. The applicant should elaborate on this point, at the moment it seems as though it was something the applicant has overheard and thought of as a nice thing to add, it needs a little more 'flesh' - how does it bring everyone together and how can it divide? However, the applicant should avoid writing too much, an additional sentence or two would be fine here, no need to double the length of the paragraph. Pursuing my studies of English at A level has made it impossible for me to read a piece of text without analysing it or picking out features and themes from within it. A topic that I am particularly interested in is creative writing; an aspect of English language that I was able to develop in my coursework. How was the applicant able to develop it? Any particular writing techniques used? The applicant should consider whether this sentence is more appropriate later on in the statement, rather than in the introductory paragraph; perhaps prior to the comment about language bringing everyone together.

I gained work experience at Waterstones Booksellers, During my part time work at Waterstones Booksellers, my communication skills improved. Though communication is a valuable asset to possess, admissions staff would hope that applicants possessed the first two before the age of work experience, helpfulness, though a nice characteristic to have, is irrelevant to the application. I was given the responsibility of writing reviews to be displayed around the store. Can the applicant elaborate on this? Were they merely posters for example? Or did the applicant use linguistic techniques to write the reviews? The applicant should mention any techniques used, such as double entendre, etc. The applicant should note that language techniques will strengthen the statement, but should avoid mentioning techniques just for the sake of it. Independently, I enjoy learning from books such as David Crystal's "How Language Works". I felt that this covered all aspects of English language, including linguistics. It has helped to broaden my knowledge of the subject. The applicant has essentially highlighted the key selling points of the book, they should consider briefly mentioning some of the aspects of the book they enjoyed, rather than simply listing it. Reading, however, is not just limited to college study, but is something which I also enjoy doing in my spare time: from classics such as Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet" and Jane Austen's "Pride and Prejudice" to modern novels also. Both Shakespeare and Jane Austen are set texts throughout academia, most applicants would have also read both of these books during A levels, if not during earlier study. "Modern novels also" is the weakest point of this sentence, though it is linked to the following sentence the applicant should consider revising, or remove the full stop, for example, "to modern novels, such as "This Lullaby" by..." A particular favourite is "This Lullaby" by Sarah Dessen, which explores relationships and the conveying of such matters through song. The theme, a particular theme which stood out to me was that of language surpassing the lives of humans and how it was emotionally expressed. While studying at college, I attended a lecture on the poet Phillip Larkin; it was presented by the admired author Martin Amis, and gave a detailed biography of Larkin's life and works. I saw Tom Stoppard's "Rock 'n' Roll" to add background knowledge to my AS study of his play "Arcadia". I found both extremely entertaining, and was absorbed by the enviable wit and intellect. The applicant should expand further on this, both "wit" and "intellect" can be found in any basic review and thus, the applicant should provide greater detail - what in particular did they enjoy? This also provides evidence that the applicant actually did see the plays, rather than merely listing them. I was chosen to represent my class at college in an English Language focus group; I feel that this gives me a sense of responsibility, reliability, and reinforces my aptitude at being able to work independently. Again, elaborate, how did it give the applicant a sense of responsibility, reliability, etc.

I chose to do five AS levels and continue with four A levels as I feel that I am hard-working enough to cope with this level of work. The applicant should consider removing this first sentence - admissions staff can see how many AS and A levels an applicant has taken. Studying English Language will help me directly with my future studies, Is the applicant talking about the current A level they are studying, or the degree they have applied to study? If the latter then mentioning future studies would not provoke a positive reaction as it essentially highlights that the applicant doesn't believe that the degree alone would be good enough. If the former then the applicant should consider mentioning things already studied in English Language - phonetics, history, semantics, etc. This point needs clarifying. And I feel that my love for the subject has grown even in the past year with the AS course. This sentence is far too clichéd, there is not a single applicant that won't mention how their "love for the course" has increased. Creative writing is appealing to me as I feel that anything can be explored: when writing, you can become someone else completely; you can live another life through your stories. A good sentence but seems a little out of place, the applicant should consider moving to the end of the first paragraph. English Literature has enabled me to explore texts through history; for example, studying "Jane Eyre" has shown the change in the English language throughout history. Elaborate? Theology and Philosophy has improved my analytical skills, which will help me during my years at University, but also beyond. Again, elaborate on these points. What in particular will you take from your studies of philosophy? Business Studies enables me to capture a glimpse of the real world, and allows me access to theories that can be put into practise; for example, those needed and used when doing my work experience at Waterstones Booksellers Ltd were similar to those that I learn about in the classroom. This business studies sentence is a bit "wishy-washy", it needs more back bone, as it currently stands it lacks any real value. The applicant should consider removing it in order to discuss English more.

In my spare time, I enjoy sewing and clothes-making. I love the feeling having finished a garment, especially if making it has been a challenge or has had set backs. This activity has improved the creativity of my work and my determination to succeed. This point feels as though it is an after thought, it doesn't really fit in with the rest of the statement and should be removed. The determination to succeed is positive, however, the clothes-making is irrelevant to the course application, thus the points cancel each other out, as such.

Higher education is the perfect opportunity for me to continue my studies at more in-depth and intellectual level. I believe that through the course of my school and college life I have acquired many positive skills, which will be beneficial to me in later life. Studying English Language at university level will only enhance these skills, enhance my interest, and therefore prepare me well for the future. The applicant provides a strong conclusion, it definitely ends the statement in a positive manner and thus will reflect positively on the applicant.