Personal Statement:Psychology 1 - The Student Room

Expert feedback from The Student Room personal statement reviewer

Unfortunately, this strikes as a very poor statement. The paragraphs are too short and don't expand on anything and most of the sentences start with 'I', meaning it doesn't flow very well. There are only very small mentions of academics, which should be the majority (approximately 2/3) of the PS. The candidate should comment on more specific things they learned/found interesting from their course and the relevant work experience they have, which would set them apart from other applicants.

If the sentences were made longer and the sentence structure was varied, this would give a much better impression - the candidate has only used simple sentences or compound sentences with simple connectives like 'and'.

I couldn't stop laughing while reading this ps. thank you

I have chosen to study Psychology in order to fulfil a long-term interest in the complexity of human behaviour and psyche. this isn't at all original, and is very vague. I would like to study within Scotland because I will be able to gain some independence from the family yet, I will be close enough to visit easily. the introduction should be about why you want to study the subject, not about the location of the university. It's not really necessary to mention at all.

From reading books at home, and regularly watching documentaries on the television, I have aided my growing interest in the field of psychology. I enjoy studying Psychology at college because it involves a wide variety of subjects such as: English, Biology, Chemistry and Maths, (4 of the 5 Highers I sat last year). No need to just list subjects for the sake of it - they will be mentioned elsewhere on your UCAS form. Instead, you should write more about what specific parts of the course have been interesting and why, and maybe comment on some studies covered. A lot of documentaries are 'pop psychology' so you should be cautious mentioning them, unless you have something very specific to say about it and why you found it interesting. Also, subject titles should only be capitalised when saying (e.g.) 'A Level Psychology'.

While in fourth year, I attended my work experience week at Bridge of Weir Leather Co. It isn't necessary to give the specific name of company you did work experience with. It proved to be a worthwhile week in that I received a valuable insight into laboratory work and how tests are carried out in the workplace. The relevance to psychology isn't really there, as laboratory tests in a leather company would be very different to psychology experiments.

I am currently assisting the teachers at Clippens School for the disabled in Linwood. Again, no need to be specific about the place. Just say 'a school for children with disabilities'. I am in a class with young autistic children, and I find the work very enjoyable. I have gained a lot of experience in how autism affects behaviour and personality, and have made many new young friends. this is excellent experience that should be expanded on; for example, by discussing how autism affects a child's ability to learn, and how lessons differ to a mainstream school.

I think one interesting application of psychology in business is advertising and the media. I find that the psychology behind some adverts can be very intriguing, and shows that the subject is very significant in today's media. I believe that psychology is an indispensable subject in that the wealth of information still to be uncovered will be of great usefulness. A far better way of showing an interest outside of lessons is to read books/studies outside of the curriculum. This isn't really specific to psychology - it would be more appropriate in a marketing PS. It isn't a good idea to show interest in an area of psychology that your universities do not cover at undergraduate.

This year I hope to achieve my target grades, (2 A's & 2 B's), and I am currently putting in a lot of effort in order to ensure these targets are met. The predicted grades will be elsewhere in the PS, and as for the effort - the unis will assume that you are making an effort to achieve the best grades possible, so it's not necessary to tell them! Whenever I have free time I spend it playing the guitar or practising with my band. I have a keen interest in martial arts, and I have taken up Judo and Jeet Kune Do. It's good that the extra curricular activities are brief. However, skills learned from martial arts could be mentioned here as well.

I have lived in and visited several different countries including New Zealand and Indonesia. This experience has resulted in a growing curiosity in other cultures. I believe that this has broadened my experience in this area and is likely to make me a more rounded and valuable employee. This is a university application, not a job application. While mentioning different cultures is good, it's only really going to be relevant to psychology admissions tutors by mentioning specific differences and maybe commenting on why these differences occur/if the differences are beneficial, at least in their country.

I have no doubt that university will be a challenging, yet fulfilling part of my life, and hopefully will be the beginning of a successful career. This sentence is incredibly cliched. The universities will assume you want to be there and it will be different from your education so far. I hope that this application indicates that I am a strong candidate for your university. Rather than say 'I hope' - summarise why it DOES show you're a good candidate and why you want to do the course. Also, you are applying (generally) to several universities - don't address the admissions tutors directly, as it's not really directly to them and thus will appear insincere.