Personal Statement:Psychology 12 - The Student Room

Expert feedback from The Student Room personal statement reviewer

This statement begins to show a good interest in psychology, but this should be enhanced by being more specific about WHAT is interesting. Too many of the sentences start with 'I', which means it doesn't flow well. The balance is about right with the amount of psychology-related stuff compared to extracurricular stuff.

The human mind is extremely complex. this is a cliched way to start a PS We may never fully understand how or why it works in the way it does, but with every study carried out we edge closer to this ultimate goal. In-depth knowledge of the human mind and behaviour can be an invaluable resource in many professions, for example, the police force in criminal profiling and many more. This sounds like an 'introduction to psychology' - the admissions tutors already know what it is, they want to know first of all why you want to study it. 'Many more' is also too informal

After reading "Manwatching" by Desmond Morris and upon starting my psychology course in Year 12, I was instantly hooked 'hooked' is too informal for a PS on the subject. I knew that this is the subject I would like to study in more detail how? What specifically was interesting? and ultimately achieve a career in a psychology-related field, either clinical or criminal psychology. lots of people will be saying this - while it's not bad or wrong to mention it, it doesn't 'set you out from the crowd'

I enjoyed carrying out my coursework, which was based on Glass and Singer’s 1972 study into the effects of control on stress levels and ability to perform in a set task. I enjoyed being able to put the skills and knowledge I learned throughout the year into practice, such as analysing and evaluating each aspect of the study. did the results reflect the original study? Any evaluative comments? This is the kind of thing that would be good to comment on

Being the eldest of four children, with an age difference of thirteen years between the youngest and myself, I have witnessed first-hand the behavioural developments of children from birth to ten years, the age of my sister. This, plus the fact that my mother is a child-minder means that I have a superb too informal awareness of how behaviour develops in children of all ages. again, this could be enhanced by specific examples and backing it up to modules studied/books read on the subject

Taking A-level maths will no doubt too informal help with the statistical side of psychology i.e. analysing the collected data, perhaps the most important part of any study, while biology will provide me with a basic understanding of the biological side of the course. examples? this A Level stuff isn't going to set you apart from the rest if it's just a couple of sentences. Mentioning books/studies read outside of the A Level syllabus would be far better. I have an active interest in environmental issues, both local and worldwide and so I volunteered for BTCV, the British Trust for Conservational Volunteers, an organisation dedicated to protecting the woodland and its creatures. For a week (and a previously volunteered weekend), it's probably best to avoid brackets, and the bit inside isn't really important myself and several other volunteers worked together as a team, coppicing small trees and making useful objects out of them, such as hedging posts and posts for deer fences. I found this an extremely valuable experience as it really made me feel that I had made a difference and also improved my ability to work in a team. This volunteering bit shouldn't be in the same paragraph as A Level stuff. It would be best if it was cut down a bit too, to accommodate some more bits about psychology

My part-time job as a waitress has greatly increased my confidence and ability to deal with the sometimes difficult public and has also given me more independence and more initiative. Part-time jobs aren't really important for PSs if they aren't related. Also, one sentence doesn't make a paragraph

In my spare time, I make full use of my gym membership, I am a registered blood donor and give blood whenever I can. the two ideas in this sentence don't flow well I also swim regularly and have competed in gymnastic competitions at both district level and for my school, achieving a silver medal. it isn't important to mention prizes won at sports competitions I constantly look for ways in which I can improve my fluency in French and study AS-level French in my free time due to the course not being offered at my school. I speak a little Japanese after being involved in a summer school a few years ago and I have recently begun to learn German. I believe speaking a language is an extremely valuable skill, as knowledge of other cultures will enhance opportunities and expand personal horizons. link to psychology here? Many businesses work closely with other companies in other countries and search for employees who can communicate in different languages and understand other cultures, strengthening the business relationships. not necessary to talk about businesses when applying for a psychology degree

I am highly-motivated, hard-working and have a genuine passion for psychology. I believe that university will provide me with more independence and the skills and knowledge needed to enter the field of clinical psychology. instead of focusing on the career at the end of it (even a psychology one), it would be better to focus on doing the degree