Personal Statement - Psychology 18

Expert feedback from The Student Room personal statement reviewer

General Comments: This PS is pretty good, but it needs more specifics about psychology. The only bit in the main body of the PS is related to the experiments at UCL, which could be expanded on anyway but it would also be a good idea to mention one or two other areas of psychology, to show interest. Also, talk about specific books/studies etc that you have read and what you found interesting and why. In order to fit this in, the extra-curricular stuff could be condensed to make more room. The capitalisation of 'psychology' is generally wrong as well. It only should be a capital if it's 'A Level/BSc Psychology' - when referring to the discipline, it should not be capitalised.

Comments on the statement: What motivates humans to behave in the ways we do? Are there external factors which need to be taken into consideration? Or perhaps we should take more of an internal approach? a rhetorical question is actually good to include as it shows your intellectual curiosity for the subject. The study of the mind and behaviour attempts to answer these questions, and if it was not for this versatile science, a lot of questions would be left unanswered. This is all rather vague - what behaviours? Investigating studies dealing with the 'abnormal', conformity and eye witness testimony allows me to further immerse myself; it has given me a better understanding of how individuals behave and act in society as a whole. And why is this interesting? No longer too informal do I want psychology to be just an interest of mine, but want it to shape my career as a chartered psychologist. In the conclusion the applicant mentions occupational psychology. It's not necessary to mention it more than once, but there should be a reason as to why you have chosen that particular area of psychology.

To deepen my knowledge of this discipline further, I am a volunteer for experiments at UCL. The skills of analysis and evaluation acquired whilst completing my A Levels has granted me a fascinating overused word in PSs! insight into investigations outside of the syllabus. A specific experiment I took pleasure in was eye movements and language study. Probably better to say 'One experiment I found particularly interesting was looking at eye movements and language, because...' and then expand on it. Learning about how words shape meaning allowed me to see a theory put into practice and improved my understanding of perceptual processes and development. It is unclear as to whether this is about the study, or whether it's something the applicant looked into him/herself. Why was this interesting, what did you learn? It's good to show your understanding a bit, which shows enthusiasm for the subject too.

Through my other A Levels I have gained transferable skills for psychology, and these A Levels have illustrated aspects of the subject. It's not necessary to say this - SHOW it instead through talking about the links. Studying English literature allows me to enhance my written ability, which is beneficial to the essays I construct bit of an OTT word here in psychology. Writing essays is a pretty tenuous link - the admissions tutors will see your writing ability from the PS anyway. Literature provides classic examples of how societies conform as a whole or how the minority deviate from the 'norm' set. Fine examples are portrayed through dystopian novels such as 'A Clockwork Orange' by Anthony Burgess and Orwell's '1984'. Sociology compliments my study of psychology, as I am able to distinguish between different theoretical perspectives on how societies function. Examples? As analysis and evaluation are frequent in this subject, I have been able to further enhance my ability to structure points in a coherent fashion. Another tenuous link.

I take an active role in my school community and have been selected for the position of deputy head boy: I am the school's representative to the general public. Part of my job specification it's not a job, it's a role/duty is to give speeches on? and welcome guests to our school. My organisational, managerial and interpersonal skills have enhanced, how? which has been beneficial to my esteem; these skills are vital for such an individually-orientated discipline. I don't understand why it is individually-orientated. Previously working as a telephonist in an office developed and improved my skills of communication and time management, as well as my ability to multi-task more efficiently. As a result, I am more confident communicating within a team and using my initiative. How will this be beneficial when studying psychology?

Being counselled in the past has developed an interest in aiding other individuals and helping them to fulfil their potential. Mentioning have counselling isn't generally a good approach in writing PSs, even if it's a brief mention. Last year I had the responsibility for tutoring a student from Russia in English. It gave me a great sense of fulfilment, and being able to learn about Russian culture and master phrases has enhanced my appreciation of how different people and societies function. Examples?

It's not necessary to have these short paragraphs - keep all extra-curricular stuff in one paragraph, as it shouldn't take up more than about 5-8 lines of your PS (or 1/3). Sports are another interest of mine. I regularly ice-skate, and have achieved a variety of certificates as I am registered with the skate UK programme; my confidence in this ability has been enhanced and I am now pursuing my level five certificate. At university, I wish to pursue this hobby by joining up with the particular society, or creating it, if it does not exist. In general, the extra-curricular activities could be cut down to make room for more stuff related to psychology. You also don't need to mention your intentions for what societies you plan to sign up for at university.

Being a thoroughly conscientious and motivated student allows me to excel in my studies and my AS level grades represent this. No need to mention grades at all in your PS - they will be elsewhere in your application. Constantly adhering to deadlines I am set in school gives me the attitude and mindset essential for university level study. Studying at university will deepen my independence and studying psychology will allow me to further analyse the world from a contemporary perspective. This sentence doesn't add much. After completion of my degree, I hope to undertake relevant experience and study in order to make my dream of becoming an occupational psychologist a reality. Not the BEST conclusion, but it covers the basic points of summing up: 1. why you want to do the course and 2. why you are a good candidate. However, you shouldn't mention new stuff in your conclusion (except maybe career aspirations, if you have a good idea about what you want to do, as long as it links to your degree!).