Personal Statement:Veterinary Science 1

Expert feedback from The Student Room personal statement reviewer

Overall this is a good statement, with a lot of good points. The experience needs to link it back to skills that are required for being a vet and why - it is important to reflect on any experience, by providing examples. With work experience, quality is better than quantity - you don't have to list everything you've done, but make sure what you do mention, you also mention what you learned from it and why it made you want to be a vet. Skills only need to be mentioned once, which would save some space. Another improvement to make is to try and include length of time at placements; most of the vet schools will want to see how long you have been on placements. Was it a morning or a week at the RSPCA etc?

A more original starting sentence would be better as stating you are have a compassion for animals is pretty much a given for applicants to vet med! Equally, there is a need to reword the closing sentence to make it specific to the applicant and things they have done. They are listing words off without backing them up with examples, which is an important aspect of a PS.

Comments on the statement:

I have always wanted a career in veterinary medicine, combining my compassion for animals with my analytical skills and scientific interests. This is not a very original starting sentence, everyone applying for this course will have scientific interests and compassion for animals. As a child I was responsible for the welfare of household pets and was intrigued by their husbandry and care, delivered at home or at the vets. This is a good way of including young interest without being too cliché. I maintain an interest in animal welfare current affairs, welfare would be more to do with the animals living conditions etc. Welfare may still be good even if disease breaks out! Such as the outbreak of foot and mouth disease and more recently, bluetongue. This needs to be expanded on later to discuss how this interest is developed: what books are read, etc.

This does not really link to the earlier comment that well, it would be better as a separate paragraph. I found A-level Biology fascinating; describing biology as fascinating is a rather overused sentence in vetmed applications, understanding the immune response in animals and especially enjoyed exploring animal physiology. Why did you enjoy these? It is nice to know you understand the immune response but it would be better to mention and expand on one of these, rather than vaguely mention one. Mathematics has strengthened my ability to think logically; an essential quality in approaching a problem orientated course. A-level English Language has enabled me to explore the art of persuasive writing and construct powerful arguments in the support of ethical animal research. This seems very much like trying to 'tick the boxes' and doesn't really add anything that 99% of other applications won't have. I believe being a veterinary surgeon would provide a career that is both challenging and rewarding in a changing society. Why will it? It is worth the applicant expanding on this. Also, this doesn't really work well in an A Level paragraph - it sounds more like an intro or a conclusion.

During nine weeks work experience I was able to see how biology is linked with the care and welfare of animals. Examples? When spending time in an Australian zoo, how long? Shadowing a keeper, animals were fed Lucerne; I was able to understand why this plant was of more than what? Nutritional value as it contains nitrogen fixing bacteria in its root nodules. It's a bit unclear whether or not the work at the Australian zoo is the work experienced mentioned at the start of the paragraph. For all we know, it could be two separate events, so this needs to be looked at to become less ambiguous. This placement enabled me to improve my organizational skills. Ensuring that all the animals were cared for appropriately whilst admistering diets enabled me to improve my organisational skills by managing my time effectively. Anything else? Experience with primates and marsupials led me to develop an interest in exotic animals. This is a short sentence, with no backing up of the statement. Expand a bit more about what experience and what interest.

I developed animal handling skills such as? At a city farm how long? With a diverse range of animals what animals? Mention some as examples. Time spent on a working farm what type of farm, how long? Demonstrated the interdependence between humans and animals. I saw the difference between the commercial and economic state of trade as well as animal environment interaction - good. I demonstrated my capability to work using my own initiative, and cope under pressure when complications emerged any examples? During lambing I worked with a farmer to deal with any malpresentations that occurred. My ability to cope in intense situations was augmented through a Marine Mammal Medic qualification at a VetSim conference. This may not be worth mentioning, especially if pressed for space. Many people have done this conference and the MMM qualification. It doesn’t add much to the applicants application, and the space would be better spent talking about things that are specific to them. The ability to work under pressure is an invaluable skill for veterinary surgeons undertaking complex and timed operations.

These placements If the applicant is saying "these placements" then the sentence relates to something said immediately beforehand, so it shouldn't be in a new paragraph - showed me the importance of correct care and husbandry of animals and experience at the RSPCA how long? Provided an insight into the repercussions of incorrect care. During time at a stables how long?, I gained important knowledge on common health issues affecting horses. For example, reducing time spent in fields and on hard ground prevents laminitis. Two weeks spent at a small animal veterinary practice, reinforced the professional role of the veterinary surgeon in the administration of care. I was able to observe the animals from initial diagnoses through surgical procedures and recovery. I viewed routine operations such as spaying and neutering as well as complex operations including lumpectomies. It would be beneficial to add more about this. It sounds like the applicant is starting to list operations they have seen, so they should expand a little bit as to what they learnt from it. While employed at a Pet Food Superstore, I saw the need for good communication skills with pet owners, enabling them to choose the best diet for their animals. This last sentence is a bit awkwardly worded.

All of these points need backing up with evidence, answering the questions 'how?' and 'why?' to really show that the applicant has solid knowledge of what it is like to be a vet. E.g. 'what are the repercussions of incorrect care? What can be done to overcome it?' These show the admissions tutors that you've really thought about your experience. Also, mention why things are interesting.

My interest in organisms and their environments led me to become a member of my school’s Eco-team. I am responsible for aiding the organization of a conference, while raising awareness on issues such as conservation of energy and recycling what skills has this developed? How will it benefit the applicant as a person or as a vet? I have achieved my Silver Duke of Edinburgh award with Explorer Scouts, and am completing my Gold award, "towards" sounds very passive, like they might get there, rather than actually doing it. If the applicant is working on it already then they should state that showing that when I set myself a goal, I am determined to achieve it. This is cliched. I am a keen martial artist, currently Brown belt in Tae Kwon Do. I play the flute at Grade 7 Distinction standard, and am aiming to take grade 8 again, "aiming" sounds passive, are they taking it or not? Also, don't start sentences in a row with 'I', as they don't flow well together. These activities demonstrate my perseverance and determination, attributes I feel are imperative to becoming a veterinary surgeon. Good to discuss skills in this way. I have the drive, skill and genuine interest to enjoy and succeed in this course and I look forward to it with motivation and enthusiasm. It sounds like the applicant is trying to finish with a good sentence here, but it ends up feeling more like they are listing off several words that they feel are positive. The extra curricular hobbies should not be in the conclusion and this should be a separate paragraph.