How to make friends at university

Before getting to uni, everyone worries about making friends. You’re coming from school or college where you already have your group of mates, so the prospect of starting from scratch can feel a bit scary.

Those nerves can affect even the most confident people. But – spoiler alert: you’re going to be fine.

Read on to find out what it’s really like making friends at uni…

Before arriving at uni

You don't have to wait until you get to uni to start making friends. There’s loads you can do before you even arrive.

Start by joining your uni's freshers groups. Keep an eye out for invites to these sent to you by the university and try joining the groups for your halls, department and even course.

Here, you'll find people posting to introduce themselves: be brave and do the same. This means you can get to know people before you meet them in person.

Another option is to check the The Student Room. We’ve got a forum for every uni and you should be able to find a dedicated thread for freshers. Get chatting here and keep an eye out for other people who will be living in your halls or studying your course.

When you’re packing for uni, take a door stop (so you can leave your door open and meet your flatmates faster) and anything that might work as an icebreaker. That might be a pack of cards or some mini board games; or maybe just a pack of biscuits or a couple of beers to share around.

Meeting people during Freshers' Week

Freshers' Week is one of those rare times when it's totally normal to introduce yourself to strangers.

It's the ideal time to connect, even if you haven’t felt like the most popular person at college. “You might be shy and ‘unpopular’ in school, but once you go to uni everyone's slate is wiped clean," says The Student Room member ljkobrien. "Everyone else will be in the same boat.”

The most important thing is just to get involved. When you move into your accommodation, leave your door open so your flatmates can look in to say hi. Hang out in the communal areas. Suggest exploring the campus or a trip to the pub to get to know people better. You never know when you might meet a new best friend.

“I made my first few friends in my flat, because I left my door open when I moved in and they could all come in and talk to me," says UEA student Becca. "Then we all went out as a flat in Freshers' Week with the flat next door, and we’re all still friends now.”

Get to some Freshers' Week events as well. It’s not all clubbing and drinking - there will be lunches, talks, film nights and more. And don’t forget societies! Freshers' Fair is your friend here, and it's a good trip to make with some of your new flatmates or coursemates.

“Joining societies is the best way to make friends, as you already have a common interest, and so automatically have a conversation starter,” says The Student Room member DCFCfan4eva.

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Settling in to uni life

Those first few weeks of uni can be a bit full-on, so don’t panic if you don’t take to uni life immediately or feel instantly ‘at home’. This will come with time.

Reach out to your uni friends and let them know how you’re feeling. They’ll be able to relate.

If you’re more introverted, all this socialising can feel tiring. Build some quiet time into your schedule to recharge your batteries.

“Some people were worried that if they didn’t want to go out in Freshers' Week, they wouldn’t be able to make any friends,” says George, a UEA medical student.

“But I ended up making most of my friends by joining a sports club, and I made my best friends from around February onwards in my first year.

"Just because you don’t have your closest friends by October, it doesn’t mean it won’t happen.”

A quick tip for when you're going to lectures: arrive a bit early. You can introduce yourself to the people sitting nearby – you might offer to share notes post-lecture, or suggest grabbing some food together after the lecture.

How to make friends if you commute

Loads of students live at home and commute to a local uni. The experience then is a little different as you won't have flatmates to hang out with. However, you’ll still have all your coursemates and people you meet in societies.

“The first friends I managed to make were my coursemates," says UEA student Indira. "I’m studying the MA in creative writing, and we just happened to bond over our shared passion for books and writing.

"I think we build it up in our heads, but most people are very approachable, so I think the trick is just to smile and say 'hi' to people.”

Making an effort makes a difference when you’re commuting. That means suggesting lunches, coffee and drinks with your coursemates, not rushing off straight after lectures – maybe even arranging to crash with a friend sometimes so you can join in for a big night out.

Social media and WhatsApp make it easy to keep in touch with mates over the weekends and holidays.

“I commuted to uni in first year and still managed to make friends," says EmmaD97.

"I made the effort to get talking to people on my course in the first couple of days where we were having tours and the first two people I got talking to I actually ended up living with in second year.”

What if you don’t drink?

What you’ve seen of university on TV or in films can make it seem like the socialising completely revolves around booze. But a recent government survey showed 26% of young people consider themselves non-drinkers.

Going clubbing or going to the pub doesn't have to mean pints and shots. There’s nothing wrong with going along and enjoying a soft drink. You get to have a night out with your mates and wake up the next morning feeling fresh for that 9am lecture.

“As a non-drinker, I was so scared that I wasn’t going to make any friends at uni,” says UEA student Hani. “But uni is such a big community that there’s always someone who shares the same interests as you.

"Because I don’t drink, I find societies the best way to find new friends - just go to some socials and start conversations with people.”

There are loads of alcohol-free activities to keep you entertained. You could take advantage of your student discount at the cinema, organise a games night or maybe find yourself a gym buddy.

Once you've found the things you enjoy doing, it won’t matter whether there’s vodka in your lemonade.

Socialising outside of uni

If you’re finding it tricky to connect with people at uni, there are still options!

You might head back to those Freshers’ Facebook groups you joined and make plans for an afternoon or evening out.

If you want to look outside your uni, there are sites like Meetup and Eventbrite where you can search for activities and events in your area, whether that’s a workshop, a class or a show.

Dating apps are also good ways to meet people in your new city (just be safe!). If you’re not looking for dates, you can try Bumble For Friends to swipe right on people who look fun.

Finding a part-time job (paid or voluntary) is also a good way to make new friends outside uni. Not only will you gain new skills for your CV (and maybe make a few extra quid), but you’ll also be able to mix with people from all backgrounds to keep things interesting.

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